


Are You Sure?

by Sleepy_Millie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Crying, Denial, Established Relationship, Hyperventilation, M/M, Near Death Experience, Panic Attack, Secret Relationship, akande comes to help, almost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 09:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepy_Millie/pseuds/Sleepy_Millie
Summary: Lucio's smiles are one of the most beautiful thing Akande has seen.  But Akande feels like he uses it as a mask.Please read the tags first.





	Are You Sure?

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little toughie to write. More when I based it off a little of my own personal experience. (except no near death experience) This was meant for Doomcio week but life got in the way. :<

He hesitates in knocking the front door.  Akande isn’t so sure why he halted his actions.  But he couldn’t stay long staring at the door with silence.  He braces himself, knocking at the door three times. The door click and swings open.  There he saw Lúcio, welcoming him with a smile. “How odd.” Akande mentally thought. But in no way did he say it out loud.  

 

“Oh! You’re here! Come!” He eagerly tugs the tall man inside his apartment.  Lúcio didn’t seem self conscious on how his apartment looked. He is a busy musician and freedom fighter after all.  So it isn’t surprising to Akande the sight of scattered clothes and other items resting all over the floor. To his relief he sees no sign of spoiled food or dirt.  

 

Lúcio finally drags him to his bedroom.  “I’ve been working on a new song.” 

 

“Oh? You have?” Akande followed along.  

 

Lúcio leads him to his bedroom, his long desk caring all the tech he uses to make his music.  Akande even caught some drums and a guitar resistant against the desk. The walls are covered in posters of many of his concerts, and some of his home country.  With all the touring and traveling, Lúcio has mentioned how it made him homesick.

 

Lúcio jumps into his chair, rolling his way to the computer.  “Just give me a second.” 

 

Akande sighs, trying his best to seem supportive and happy for Lúcio.  But something didn’t seem right about all of this. “How are you?” 

 

“Great! This might help me get ahead of schedule for the new album.” Lúcio says with his chipper tone.  

 

Akande has seen Lúcio as the ray of sunshine he usually makes himself be.  But something is not right. Something is different. This all feels like a pure facade.  “After what happened yesterday?” 

 

Lúcio pauses with the keyboard, turning around.  “What about yesterday?” He asks, raising his eyebrow.  “If this is about canceling our date-” 

 

“The mission.  When the weapon almost…” Akande bit his tongue, his brain a jumbled mess.  Is his lover actually happy? Is he lying? What happens if he never brings it up? What happens IF he brings it up?  “Oxton’s pulse bomb.” 

 

Lúcio’s smile dropped.  He didn’t say a single word for the next five seconds. He turns back to his computer, accessing the music file.  “Oh that was an accident. Clearly an accident. Its thanks to you I’m fine.” He forces a chuckle, playing the music.  It isn’t over yet but Akande decided to sit at the edge of the bed and listen to Lúcio’s new track. 

 

The style and genre of said music, it clearly belongs to Lúcio.  But something felt different. Akande would usually feel a sense of optimism come from his tunes.  But it felt off. More melancholic. 

 

Lúcio’s fingers tap over the desk repeatedly.  “Really, I’ve forgiven her. It was thanks to the enemy’s magnetic tech that caused the location of the bomb to… just think it, that thing stuck on my back, the idea…” 

 

Lúcio wasn’t making sense of his words.  Akande leans closer to Lúcio. “Those milliseconds before it could happen, if it happened, what if it happened? Hah, what if?  Ho boy? Fucking what if.” He laughs it off. 

 

“Lúcio.” 

 

“I’m too young to die.” He gets up from his chair, grabbing Akande’s hand.  “Come on. I know this cool bar with music so loud it’ll leave you deaf.” He tugs but Akande didn’t budge.  “Hey, don’t you want to go out with me?” 

 

There is no going back at it.  “Lúcio, are you okay?” 

 

“Aww, I’m fine big guy.” He smiles, standing on his tiptoes and caress the man’s cheek.

 

Akande sighs, holding Lúcio’s hand.  “Are you okay?” 

 

“GEEZ, DOES IT MATTER?!” The volume of his voice take Akande by surprise.  “I made it fine! The team made it fine! Sure I would have blown to smithereens but I didn’t! Thanks to you yanking the thing off me on time!  I. AM. FINE.”

 

“It matters.” Akande musters out.

 

“What?” 

 

“It matters to me.” Akande whispers, caressing Lúcio’s cheek as his heart sank.  His memory was crystal clear. Their relationship is supposed to be a secret, but Akande’s actions might have exposed it to both Talon and Overwatch.  But he has no regret. 

 

He remembers how his gauntlet acted fast to grab the pulse bomb that was attached to Lúcio’s back. He threw it to the air high enough to avoid certain death.  Although the bomb detonated from a safe distance, he shielded Lúcio from the blast, only receiving superficial scratches and mild burns and bruises on his back.

 

Still he saw how Lúcio’s face lost all color after witnessing such event.  He remembers how Lúcio forced himself to laugh it off and continue with the mission, being the audio medic he always is.  Even after the mission was over, Lúcio didn’t bring up the topic again. He kept going with his happy-go-lucky attitude. 

 

“You matter to me.” Akande whispers, embracing him. Part of him is doing it out of fear.  The fact that Lúcio could have not been here, in his arms leaves him with dread. 

 

He feels Lúcio’s body shake, his breathing increasing.  He clutched his own chest, feeling like it was about to burst by the speed of his heartbeat.  Tears stream down his face, his legs shaking on the verge of losing his balance. His free hand tries to reach to the desk, desperately searching for his headphones.  He needed his music. He needed to muffle out any thought regarding his experience. 

 

He stumbles but Akande catches him on time, grabbing the headphones for him and carry him to the bed.  Lúcio’s shaking hands slip the headphones on, switching on his music. He expected for it to solve his problem but he still found himself hyperventilating and shaking.  He couldn’t put it in words. It was so much he felt; dread, paranoia, anxiety, a heavy lump in his neck that makes it impossible to breath. “A-a-a-”

 

Akande held him close, keeping himself under control.  “Lúcio, listen to me closely.” He helps Lúcio cup both his hands together and place them in front of his mouth.  “Breath.” He guides Lúcio until he was able to slow down his breathing. Lúcio follows, tears nonstop and body shaking.  He felt like he was going to die right here and now of some odd heart attack. 

 

After ten long minutes of crying, shaking and controlling his hyperventilation, Lúcio feels his body calming.  At least he thinks he is. It is like he forgot how it works. His body is left weak and aching. He could barely move his fingertips without the soreness.  Akande never left his side, keeping him close and allowing Lúcio’s head to rest against his chest. It felt like just by that, he is protected by all the bad stuff the world throws at him.  It feels good.

 

“I… I know it was an accident.  But this part of my brain blames her for being… careless.” His throat felt dry as he spoke.  “I hate that feeling.” He would be lying if he said he remembers his near death experience with clarity.  All he can remember is what he felt that one second. It leaves him paralyzed with dread. This is why he uses his music, to muffle out any of those thoughts.  But now it didn’t seem to be enough. 

 

He feels himself fall back to that pit of panic, shaking.  He is pulled back by Akande kissing his forehead, still keeping him in his embrace.  “I am here.” It may not stop another panic attack, but perhaps his company will do a difference. “I know that gorilla scientist is working in a way to avoid that from happening.  I am sure the agent also will learn from the experience.” 

 

“It's not her fault.  It's not their fault… It's the enemy’s fault.  Why does my brain does this?” He fiddles with the tip of his dreadlocks.  

 

“Your mind is captivating the fact that you almost didn't make it.  It is overwhelming. But I am here. I will not leave you alone.” He hums, massaging with care Lúcio’s scalp.  Lúcio just melts at the sensation, not realizing he was moved to the bed and bundled up. He didn’t even notice himself dozing off. 

 

He didn’t dream of anything.  But that is actually a good sign.  Better nothing than a nightmare. 

 

“Lúcio.” Akande’s smooth voice echoes, pulling him out of his sleep.  Lúcio scuffles under the bed sheets, groaning at the interruption of his sweet sleep.  “Lúcio, you need to eat.” 

 

“[Let me sleep…]” Lúcio musters out, his throat feeling raspy.  He opens his eyes, pulling the blanket off his face. His blurry vision is able to distinguish Akande holding a plate in one hand and a spoon in front of him.  “Nao…”

 

“It’s going to get cold.” Akande urges. Lúcio huffs, scrunching under the blanket but then accepts.  He opens his mouth, waiting for the spoon. 

 

The food was definitely not homemade.  It tasted too delicious. And if Lúcio recalls, Akande is horrible in the kitchen.  “You don’t have to say.”

 

“You can either waste your energy trying to convince me or you can eat.” Akande was taking none of that, giving him another spoonful of soup.  “Call your teammates. tell them you will need time off.”

 

“Winston handled that already.” Lúcio sighs, admitting defeat.  Akande smiles, continuing to feed him little by little. He wants his lover to be recuperate comfortably.  

 

Akande remembers all too well the many near death experiences he had.  One gets used to it, but there are times the thought overwhelmed him. Now, being a man in his forties, the thought of death seems like a casual topic you can pass around on the dinner table.  

 

But Lúcio isn’t like him.  He is different. After feeding him, he joins Lúcio on the bed, spooning him leaving one arm over the small torso.  “If you need anything, just tell me.” Akande adds, kissing his head. 

 

“Mmmm obrigado…”  The warmth of their contact was enough to make him calm down and return to asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me in: 
> 
> My Tumblr: millie-on-a-leaf.tumblr.com/
> 
> My Tumblr nsfw: the-naughty-leaf.tumblr.com
> 
> Twitter: twitter.com/Millie_Coqui
> 
> Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/milliecoqui


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